Anatomy of a Nigga Moment

Posted by Anonymous on April 4, 2010 · 2 Comments 

Well, well, well…

I didn’t think I’d have anything of interest to post so soon, but something interesting happened to me… I had a nigga moment. Yes, I went straight from “uppity Negro syndrome” on Tuesday evening to a “nigga moment” Friday morning. Before I take a stab at explaining what exactly a “nigga moment” is, allow me to share a short video clip taken from an episode of The Boondocks…

Thank you, Mr. McGruder! I couldn’t have put it more eloquently.

I don’t even know what happened. The day before, a staff member brought what was left over from a catered event they had that morning. Well that’s all fine & dandy, but no one wanted to eat cold eggs & potatoes for lunch, so I suggested that we order biscuits, sausage & bacon and have a nice breakfast the next morning. Folks thought it was a good idea and started chipping in for the order. Quickly, it disintegrated into a logistical nightmare.

Staff members wanted to contribute different amounts, so I asked everyone to make a financial contribution based on what they felt they could pay. They didn’t know that I was picking up the tab if we weren’t able to raise the amount needed to cover our costs…

The staff at the restaurant didn’t know their own catering prices. I was dead set on this particular restaurant, (I like supporting local black-owned businesses) however, after multiple phone calls, I was forced to hold off on placing the order until the next day.

I get in and things seem fine. I place the order and everything seems like it’s back on track. Then the intern decides he doesn’t want to pick up the order…

Fine, I call my backup. Two calls, no answer. That’s okay, I’ve got a backup plan for my backup plan. I go to a co-worker and ask if she can pick up the food. She agrees.

The food is clearly going to be about 30 minutes late, but that’s fine because that gives everyone time to get here.

My temper is flaring, but I’ve still managed to keep it under wraps.

The food arrives and the most I’m out is $15. Perfect.

I help set things up in the back and alert folks that they can go eat now.

Somehow, somewhere in the midst of everything, I guess I just snapped. Not verbally, mentally.

It’s like everything caught up to me at the same time. I’d experienced this once before. I went to a club and had five cosmos back to back. Well… actually, it might have been four, I’m not sure if the fifth cosmo actually made it to my mouth. I’m sure I didn’t consume any of it. All I knew was that the previous four cosmos hit me all at once and when I came to, I was already in a taxi headed home. That’s what this was like. Every little irritation from that week had caught up & hit me like a bomb that morning.

It was the ex who lied, the business partner who stiffed me, the girl who won’t pay me my goddamn money, the deadbeat dad who won’t pick up the phone, the friend who stopped talking to me, the selfish intern, the disrespectful co-workers… all of it was hitting me now and I was mad.

In my mind, I just remember thinking I don’t give a damn what happens next. All I wanted was to punch someone’s lights out. It’s the type of anger that you can actually feel pumping through your veins. You feel the tension building as you struggle to find a constructive (read: non-violent) way to release all of this pent up fury.

I almost got into it with one co-worker. She doesn’t know when to quit. She just kept hammering away at me. I felt my resistance fading. I’ve been waiting for the moment to snap on her for awhile, and today was gonna be the day. However, someone intervened on her behalf and told her to leave me alone before I do something to her. She heeded their advice.

Soon word had spread that I was in a bad mood. Everyone thought it was their fault. The apologies flowed. I’m a receptionist that has been on the job for 3 & 1/2 years & makes less than $20,000/year… I start work at 8am and I’ve often stayed until 5:30. I’ve done 11 hour days for months on end until I begged for them to relent & hire another receptionist. I’ve gone above & beyond, and all I ever asked for in return was respect, and they couldn’t even give me that, so… I turned into the Incredible Hulk.

Not gonna lie… it felt really fucking good. The passive girl who stays late & is always willing to lend a helping hand, finally got what she wanted – a little respect… and I languished in every moment of it. I can’t wait to see what Monday brings.

Filed under Black Culture, Culture Shock, Learning, Lessons, Moments, Personal · Tagged with Aaron McGruder, catering nightmares, nigga, nigga moment, office stories, respect, The Boondocks, work